


Affection

by oct6th



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 10:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18341459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oct6th/pseuds/oct6th
Summary: Minhyuk had always been a naturally affectionate guy but, with Jooheon, things were different. Little did he know, things were different for Jooheon too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! So~ this is my first fanfic. Don't really know if it's the best I can do, having no experience whatsoever, but I tried!!! If you're reading this for whatever reason, I truly hope you enjoy it. Please be sure to leave a comment on what you thought and kudos if you really liked it. I really appreciate it!
> 
> Thank you so much, let's continue loving Joohyuk and our boys with all our hearts ^__^ ♡

It was late at night, a busy day after traveling back home. Minhyuk laid on his bed, sleepless, pondering about stuff that had been troubling his mind for a while now. So, here's the thing: Minhyuk had always been an affectionate guy – with his family, friends, bandmates and fans. Yeah, he didn't have many friends to begin with, despite of what people normally thought of him, so it just made even more sense to him that he had to express his love for those who bothered to put up with his personality and (sometimes) weird habits.

In Monsta X, they were all friends; practically family at this point. Living together for so many years, sharing a home and so many unforgettable moments together, made them grow closer and closer by time. So, naturally, Minhyuk became affectionate towards all of them. A tight long hug every morning for Hoseok and Shownu, a little clinginess to Kihyun just to annoy the hell out of him, grabbing onto Hyungwon's long but steady arms every time he got the chance, leaning on and petting Changkyun all the time (he's the maknae after all!!). But then, it came Jooheon.

There was just something about him, about his baby face and well-built body, his firstly intimidating personality that soon turned into a real "soft baby boy must protect at all costs" one, the way his dimples appeared, and his eyes basically disappeared, when he smiled... Minhyuk just couldn't help himself around him. YES, he was naturally affectionate towards everyone he knew, but with Jooheon he tended to go a little overboard.

If even at fansigns he couldn't leave the poor boy alone, you can only think about what he was like when they were at home. At particularly need-Jooheon-days, Minhyuk was glued to his side practically the whole day. No matter what they did, they were together. Well... Except for bathroom breaks, of course. They weren't THAT close.

That was how things went ever since No Mercy, and both of them were used to it. They never talked about it, not even when they heard the members complaining that they needed to stop being so close, to pay more attention to the job – Minhyuk just couldn't. He. Couldn't. Not when Jooheon was just there, looking like a 24 year old baby, ready to be cuddled.

That is, until recently. Minhyuk got into this really... Insecure mood? That happened sometimes. He thought about everything he was, about his personality that most times seemed unique, but sometimes to >him<, just seemed annoying. He thought about his talents and performance, about his dedication to working harder and harder everyday and giving his all for Monbebe and Monsta xX. It just felt like it wasn't enough, for some reason.

Most times he faked it, just because he didn't want other people to have to deal with it. He put on his usual sunshine smile and tried to be more talkative then normal, to pretend he was in a better mood instead of the worst one. He also tended to cling to the others a lot more, but this time not because he wanted to fake anything – he actually fucking needed them. Minhyuk, a very tactical person, needs to ground himself somehow when he feels like his sanity is getting away from him. He needs a tight hug, a warm hand holding his, a steady arm around his shoulders, showing him that he's still here, that it's going to be okay, and he'll get back to his usual self again.

Tonight, he was in a really bad one. But especifically for something that had happened the night before. They were leaving Japan after ending promotions, and Jooheon was staying back to work on some personal stuff + get some vacation time for himself. He had been feeling pretty stressed lately, so the manager thought it would be a good idea.

Minhyuk tried to ignore it, but he felt his heart ache at the thought of being away from his personal cuddle bee for more than a week. He didn't know when he would be back, so that just made it worse. He felt ashamed for being so clingy to someone who was just his friend, but like he explained before: with Jooheon, everything was different. 

So, the night before the trip, Minhyuk just would not leave his side. Everywhere he went, Minhyuk was there. Petting his hair, poking his nose, grabbing his shoulders, squeezing his thighs. He knew it was probably a little annoying, but it hurt. And he had to find a way to make himself feel better before he lost his mind and had to deal with stuff he had buried deep inside his brain and heart years and years ago. Plus, Jooheon didn't really do anything about it, like usual. He just sat there and let himself be pet.

Towards the end of the night, they were all settling down into their respective rooms after having a little pizza party in the managers room. Minhyuk and Jooheon said goodbye to the other members before going to their room (yes, they were roommates this time, much to the older's happiness). They got ready silently, saying slurred "goodnights" to each other before laying each in their own beds.

Jooheon quieted down almost immediately, but Minhyuk couldn't keep his mind calm. That wasn't an unusual thing, but tonight it was especially worse. He kept thinking about going back to Korea without HIM, not being able to see his puffy face in the morning, spending the cold nights curled up in the couch without him. Yes, he could make Shownu cuddle him – i mean, he was warm and cuddly like a big teddy bear but... It wasn't Jooheon. 

He kept shaking his foot, turning from side to side, bumping his head against the pillow to try and make himself more comfortable, but nothing was working. Jooheon didn't seem bothered by it at all, being the true deep sleeper that he was. Minhyuk squinted his eyes to stare at the back of his head, mostly hidden by the covers, black hair messy against the pillow.

Minhyuk had to get closer. It was the last time this week he had the chance to be close to him, to feel his grounding presence, to have that hidden feeling in his chest get a little bit of freedom – still hidden, but free for a of couple seconds. So, without having to think twice, he got up from his bed as quietly as he could and got closer to his bandmate's bed. Lifting up the covers, he slipped into them, cuddling close to Jooheon and praying not to wake him up. Honestly, he really didn't want to explain anything right now.

He got a few moments of peace, resting his head on his hand and looking at the face of a sleeping angel. He was truly the most beautiful person minhyuk had ever met. Even asleep, with a little drool dribbling out of his open mouth and his cheeks squished against the pillow, Jooheon was stunning. Minhyuk felt that familiar tightness in his chest, the same one he felt back in No Mercy, when he saw Jooheon for the first time and got this uncontrollable want to know every little thing about him. The same feeling he gets when he sees Jooheon perform on stage and give his all, showing his pure passion for what he does. That feeling that never leaves him, despites how much he ignores it. It's always there.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when the pillow under his elbow moved. Jooheon was awake suddenly, little eyes blinking slowly, trying to see through the darkness.

— Minhyuk hyung..? – He mumbled, voice raspy from sleep. – What are you doing in my bed?

He asked like it was the first time he had found Minhyuk like this, laying beside him in the bed in the middle of the night. He had gotten so used to seeing Minhyuk slip into his bed that he stopped questioning a long time ago. The thing is that it hadn't happened in a long time, and the older knew that he would find it strange, combined with the overboard clinginess of tonight.

Minhyuk struggled to find his words, something unusual for him. He felt like crying, looking into Jooheon's confused eyes, knowing that that stupid feeling in his chest was in vain and only platonic. He didn't want this anymore, but Jooheon only made it harder for him, just by being HIM.

— I-i...I think I'll miss you. When you're gone. I'll really do, Joo. – He said, voice coming out clearly wavery. 

Jooheon's face only got more confused. He didn't understand what was the problem. They had been apart for longer than a week before, why was he so upset all of a sudden? It was just making it harder on him, not to spill everything right here, right now. Not to grab his face between his hands and press kisses everywhere he could reach, finally giving up his facade of not caring about Minhyuk's constant affection. He couldn't do that. He knew Minhyuk only did it because it was in his nature, to be clingy to everyone, and tonight it just happened to be him. He HAD to get away from this situation, before he did something stupid and ruined their friendship forever.

— Minhyuk, what the-... I'll only be gone for like a week, dude. Why are you doing this? Why do you always do this? You make me feel like I'm special to you in some kind of way when I'm clearly just your friend. Stop it, okay? Don't do this anymore. I'm sick of it.

He shut down immediately, seeing the look on Minhyuk's face change in the blink of an eye. He went from sad, to confused, to stricken, to furious, to miserable. It was hard to shut him down, Minhyuk being the kind of person that's always ready for a fight, but that seemed to do it. He disappeared from Jooheon's side in a matter in seconds, burying under his covers, completely silent. 

Jooheon felt like shit for doing that to someone he loved so fucking deeply, but a part of him was relieved it was over. He didn't say anything that would compromise him, and Minhyuk clearly didn't seem to disagree with the fact that they're. Just. Friends. And that's it.

It hurt like hell, his chest felt like it was going to explode, but Jooheon had come to terms with this a long time ago. He just hoped Minhyuk would have forgotten this by tomorrow. He hoped.


	2. Part. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk is hurt, the boys are cute and Jooheon tries to fix things. Will they finally be able to confess what they had been keeping in secret for years?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter! Things get resolved and fluff happens -3- Hope you enjoy it too. I'm really happy I could write this, it had been a long time since I had written anything so it feels very satisfying. Even if one single person reads it, it's enough to make me incredibly happy. Thank you, again. 
> 
> Until the next fanfic, perhaps~ ♡

The other morning, everyone woke up and got ready to go. The flight was early, so the manager (and Kihyun) went around everyone's room knocking at the doors and telling them to get ready. You could hear groans and complaints coming from the others' rooms, and Kihyun's loud voice ordering Hyungwon to wake up. They prayed the other people staying at the hotel wouldn't start to get out of their rooms and yell at them to shut up.

Jooheon stayed in his bed, happy that he didn't have to leave this early. Something was bothering him though, but he didn't remember what it was. He turned in his bed, facing the other, stretching his arms over his head while he let own a yawn. 

His satisfying stretch stopped suddenly when he saw Minhyuk. His slumped shoulders and unusual slow movements, his messy clothes and bed head. He wasn't like this at all, not even in the mornings. 

— Fuck. – Was all that echoed in Jooheon's head.

He remembered everything. He ruined everything, even while trying not to. It was obvious that Minhyuk felt like shit, and it was because of him. His chest felt like it was going to explode with so much guilt.

Jooheon sat on the bed slowly, trying to think of a way to approach this without scaring Minhyuk away or pissing him off. He closed his eyes tightly, something that he always did when he was nervous. This time, Minhyuk didn't even bother to look at him to notice it. He didn't wanna see his face at all, didn't want to feel his heart break all over again, didn't want the guilt and embarrassment to take over him more than it already did. He felt like a burden to the one he loved the most.

— Hyung, I-... I'm sorry. I really didnt-

— It's okay. I understand. – Is what came out of Minhyuk's mouth, weak and defeated. He didn't even pay attention to his tone, just wanting to be done with this conversation and leave, ignore what happened forever.

Before Jooheon even had the chance to say anything else, he grabbed his luggage and ran through the door, hoping to hide away in the managers room while he waited for the others to get ready. Jooheon just stared at the door that was slammed closed behind him, mouth gaping with unsaid apologies. He dropped back into the back with a groan and a slap to his own head.

*after the flight*~

Back at the dorm, all the members seemed to notice Minhyuk's unusual behavior. This time he wasn't able to hide it, apparently. All of them, no exceptions, comforted him the way they could. They knew Minhyuk didn't like to be forced to talk about his problems, and trying to get him to say anything would probably just upset him more, so they set into making him feel better by doing small, but noticeable, things for him.

Shownu carried his luggage from the car to the dorm, insisting that he needed to work out a bit because he was "feeling too stiff". Wonho never left his side, trying to make silly jokes and giving him his truly contagious smiles – Minhyuk couldn't help but smile back, even if weakly. Kihyun made him some nice warm coffee when they were finally inside, not even bothering to undo his baggage first (something very unlike Kihyun). Hyungwon and Changkyun settled down with him on the couch, coffee in hand, not even needing to say anything to give him their full attention. in the end, Minhyuk felt incredibly loved by his friends. he was grateful, for everything, really! But the insecurity caused by Jooheon's words last night wouldn't go away, no matter what. 

He ended up excusing himself earlier than usual, settling into his bed after a hot shower. They didn't stop or question him, knowing that he needed his time. He silently thanked them for that.

And so he found himself laying there, looking up into the ceiling, thoughts running nonstop in his head. Did Jooheon really mean that? That he made him feel special when he wasn't? Jooheon was one of the most special people in the world for him!... Well, maybe he didn't want to feel special. Maybe he wanted to be just a normal bandmate, no feelings involved. 

That's what Jooheon wanted them to be: bandmates. Friends at best. Minhyuk's chest got tight again, his hands gripping each other hard. Wetness ran down his cheeks and he suddenly realized that he was crying. He couldn't believe he was crying over an unrequited love, like a 15 year old all over again. An unrequited love for his goddamn bandmate, to make matters worse. A love that could ruin not only theirs, but their whole friends' careers.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his sobs into the pillow. Ended up having a nightmare about Jooheon, where he told him those same words, over and over again.

*meanwhile*~

Jooheon couldn't relax at all when the only thing on his mind was Minhyuk. but not happy Minhyuk, not sexy Minhyuk, not silly Minhyuk. Sad and miserable Minhyuk. All because of him.

Minhyuk didn't answer his calls or texts, and the members informed him (after a lot of insisting and denying any explanation) that he wasn't feeling good at all, and they didn't know why. He ended up calling his manager, asking if he could give up on the break. The manager seemed confused, but agreed anyway – at this point, he didn't question any of those boys anymore.

It was 11 am and Jooheon was packing up his things as fast as he could. He was planning on grabbing some lunch before leaving straight for the airport. Thankfully, he was able to buy a ticket for today. He thanked God and all the forces of the universe for helping him at least once. It was scheduled to arrive in Korea this afternoon.

After a rather calm flight, the whole ride from the airport to the dorm made him anxious. He kept thinking about what he would say to Minhyuk, how he could possibly explain that his stupid outburst from that night was in order to not fuck everything up (well, clearly it didn't work the way he planned).

His hands and legs trembled while he picked up his suitcase from the cab. He was sweating the whole way up the stairs. Honestly, even after performing in front of hundreds of thousands of people, he never felt more nervous. He was sure he would find a way to fuck things up, Lee-Jooheon-relationship-style.

The members greeted him happily when he entered the dorm, some of them very confused as to why he had come back so early and given up on his vacation. He used the excuse of not being able to be apart from them – with a little bit of aegyo in there, soon enough they dropped the discussion with some laughs and shoulder pats, getting back into their spots and letting him settle down.

Jooheon quickly noticed Minhyuk was nowhere to be seen. Not in Shownu's lap on the couch, or cuddling up to Changkyun while they watched youtube videos together. He dropped his luggage and coat by the door and motioned Kihyun to come into the kitchen with him. 

— Where's Minhyuk? Is he okay? – He asked, trying his best to sound casual.

Kihyun seemed suspicious, so his attempt didn't really work. He dropped if off though, thankfully, and just answered his question.

— Oh, he's in the bedroom. Hasn't left the bed since last night. This morning i saw him playing on his phone but when I asked if he wanted to get coffee he declined. Not in a good mood I guess... Why?

— O-oh... – Jooheon stuttered, not knowing how to answer that question casually. – I dunno... He just didn't answer my texts. I found that unusual, y'know?

Kihyun squinted his eyes, looking at him up and down. Damn, he knew how to read everybody. 

— Huh. Sure. Well, you should go talk to him then. We all know how much he loves you, maybe seeing you will make him feel better. – and like that he left, patting jooheon's shoulder with a sarcastic smile. Yup, he figured it out.

Jooheon drank a cup of water and shakily gathered up his courage to face Minhyuk. Walking to the bedroom, he could hear familiar noises of the same mobile game Minhyuk always played when he was stressed or wanted to distract himself. That just made him more nervous. 

He opened the door slowly, noticing Minhyuk was facing the wall, not caring about who came in. He was still in his pajamas, under the covers, something that was not a good sign. He was normally one of the first ones to get up and ready, hating to walk around the house in his sleep time clothes.

Jooheon closed the door behind him and walked up to the bed, sitting on the edge. Minhyuk only grunted a "go away", eyes never leaving the game.

— Hyung.

Minhyuk froze. The game made its famous "you lost" sound effect, but his eyes never left the screen. It took probably a full 5 minutes for him to finally face Jooheon.

— W-what are you doing here? I thought you were going to be gone for a week. – His voice came out confused, eyes never being able to meet Jooheon's, staring at a specific spot on the covers.

— You know why I came. I messed up with you and I have to fix it.

Minhyuk shook his head weakly and sat up on the bed, making Jooheon scoot away, too scared to be close to him right now.

— Jooheon... You only said what you felt. What you feel. You don't have to be sorry for that. I'm the one that has to be sorry, for making you feel uncomfortable all this time and not even consulting you about it.

— I-... You've never made me feel uncomfortable. If you did, you know I would tell you about it. I trust you, remember?

Minhyuk was at a loss for words, not understanding anything anymore. Was he lying to make him feel better?

— Then why? Why did you-

— I was scared. I got defensive and I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just not good with these kinds of things and I couldn't tell you this. I CAN'T tell you this. I can't ruin our friendship like this.

It couldn't be... Minhyuk felt even more confused, because all of his words were matching his own thoughts. Did they really feel the same? Was this the problem the whole time?

— Jooheon... What can't you tell me?

— Don't-

The older got braver, hoping he wasn't doing the wrong thing by placing a hand on the other's thigh. It felt familiar, it made his heart jump in his chest all over again. Just thinking about the fact that this could've been over makes Minhyuk want to cry.

— Please, say it. You have to say it. I need to hear it from you.

They finally looked into each other eyes, breath leaving both of their bodies. This was really good to happen, and it would change everything.

— I love you. Not just as a bandmate, or a friend. I actually fucking love you.

Minhyuk felt like crying. No words could leave his mouth as his throat was clogged up with emotion, relief, happiness. He threw himself onto Jooheon, squeezing him so hard it probably hurt. But neither of them cared, they just hugged each other like their lives depended on it.

When Minhyuk's tears stopped, he slowly lifted his head off of Jooheon's shoulder, shirt now left damp. He felt embarrassed, but it all went away went fingers found his cheeks and brought his face up, eyes made to stare into the other's. 

Jooheon looked so happy, so so happy, and that was the best sight Minhyuk had ever witnessed. He couldn't hold it can anymore, he didn't have to actually. So he kissed him like he always wanted to, with the passion, the need and the want of years and years built up into one action. The other enthusiastically responded, clinging onto him and only separating their lips to grab his face again and press kisses everywhere he could see.

Later, laying on each others arms and basking in that magical moment, Minhyuk whispered, just loud enough for the most important person in the world for him to hear.

— I love you too, Jooheon. I always did.


End file.
